Wednesday, November 16, 2005


What I “Use-ta Think” Part I

When asked if I wanted to go to heaven someday, I asked for the option of coming back after a short visit there.

The way you got to heaven was Jesus flew down to get you and you put on your superman cape and flew up to heaven with him. Imagine my horror and grief when my sister sold my superman cape in our neighbor’s garage sale. I thought I had lost my salvation.

For those without superman capes, God made staircases (what I now know to be jet exhaust) for them to climb to heaven

When you “gave your offering to God” at church, the offering counters would put it in the plate and set it in the middle of the aisle after the church service and it would levitate up to heaven while the counters peeked through the sanctuary doors.

Witnessing to my friends meant taking my Sunday School book to school and telling everyone they better come to our bible study at recess if they didn’t want to go to hell.

What did you "Use-ta Think" about God and heaven?
(Next issue will address all the other aspects of life)

8 comments:

Tex said...

That's all pretty much right on. But what's this "use-ta-think" stuff? I thought it was all still this way...

Wes Martin said...

Love yo site miss Crista!
wiz

Schwalk said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Schwalk said...

I want to know what happened to it being cool to sit on the front row of church? All the cool kids were doing it.

Holly said...

Remember that Satan lives under the grates at the grocery store too!!! Ahh the good ol' days :)

schwalka said...

I can't believe I forgot to put in that one about satan and the grates!! good call Holly.
Don't the cool kids still sit on the front row, Brad?

Schwalk said...

nope they all hang out in the back

Schwalk said...

If you were bad a church you would be kept under the stage