Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Peace as the World Gives

I was at conference in Washington DC this September for HIV Nutrition. The mixture of caregivers in the HIV community is interesting. You have the Christians (like myself) who are in the biz to love on those in a disparaging situation. (The four day work weeks don’t hurt either) There are also those that are not Christian, but truly great humans that have been affected by the disease in one way or the other, trying to give back and fight this awful disease. Now there are those that do not fit either category, but from my observation these are the primary subsets.

Getting back to the conference….the last session was titled “Grace under Pressure”. Sounds good to me! I was the first in the room, a “front rower” ready to hear what this session had to offer those of us in this emotionally draining field.

The first part sounded good, a couple of breathing exercises, mind clearing activities. It wasn’t until we started chanting and looking for our “inner light” that I got a little scared. Not really scared but felt really “icky”. I could not participate, I had to sit there and pray because I felt the awful feeling of deceit and despair filling the room. What’s crazy is it seemed I was the only one who noticed. People looked up from the exercise with peaceful feelings saying “oh that’s great” “I really found my inner light” “I could stay here forever!”

Forever? I was miserable. Then God whispered the words in the title of this blog to my shaken little heart. It made so much sense to me! I have not doubt that my colleagues felt peace at that moment, but I could see the shallow fleeting nature of it. I felt like Buck Williams in the Left Behind Series in the Board room with Nicolae right after he was saved (Come on! You know you read them!). He could see the deceit happening around him, while others could not.

Peace as the World Gives….. Compare it to the temporary “buzz” of yoga (as in the afore mentioned case), tobacco, alcohol, drugs, buying something new, eating a great meal….. Enjoyable activities that can give peace- if only for a second. What is tragic is that this is the only peace some will ever know.

Enter the “Peace that passes all understanding”. A lasting peace. Not fleeting, not weird…just really profound. I’ve found myself praying this over people.
That they would know this peace and that the peace that they are chasing would be exposed for the shallow fleeting band aid that it is.

I pray this for myself as well. That I will follow hard after this enduring breed of peace.


BurroJoe said...

I like reading your writing.

And it is a little long, but I'll forgive you! And I'll keep reading.

schwalka said...

thanks....I'll try lighthearted and short next time.

yogamasters said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Holly said...

I thought it was very poignant (is that how you spell that?)

Schwalk said...

I like your blog. I just never thought you would have one. It must be the doings of that crazy husband of yours

kaminunn said...

Oh friend...so beautiful!! You DOO have a reason to blog...that profound wisdom you ALWAYS give to life! :) Water to my soul!! DOO keep it up!! O LOVE that you are the Optimists Club...that is HILARIOUS! :)

sara said...

What talent you have! I stand impressed. I can picture you talking as I read and it brings a smile to my face. Keep on blogin (as we say in Texas)!!!!