The Optimist's Club

a New idea!

2011-08-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

I had a new idea. I think I'll post my favorite things my kids did/said today. If i post enough "todays" then eventually, i'll have a really neat keepsake book.

Very wise people tell me about child-rearing, "Write all of this down. You will forget it if you don't!"

I'm awesome at writing it down...on Facebook--an non-archivable source. sheesh.

so here goes,

Today, August 15th, 2011

Micah spent significant time making funny faces in the mirror in his room when he didn't know anyone was watching.

Judah spent significant time making faces and dancing into the mirrors at Ross.

At bedtime, I told Judah and Micah to tell everyone good night and give them hugs. Tonight, after being sure to hug big brother, Luke, the dog, and mom repeatedly, Micah hugged the diaper cream and said "night night medicine" and Judah followed suit.

Then Judah proceeded to hug and say "night night bubba's milk cup" and "night night my milk cup"

Me: "Luke, the scientists say that you need a lot of sleep for your brain to work well"

Luke: "the scientists are wrong."

Luke tried really hard to memorize the words to the Bibleman song.

Table Top Truths!

2011-01-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

OK. HOW. CUTE. IS. THIS.

A stuttered sentence is the only way to emphasize how much i think this is a great idea.
One of my best girls, Sara Moffitt and one of her best girls Lisa Sledge, have had a genius plan that they have eloquently put into action.

(look aren't they cute? Lisa left, Sara right)

They call it Tabletop TRUTHS. Throw your Dora and Batman placemats on the floor. A fresh new placemat wants to take its place.

Sara and Lisa noticed that their kids were learning things like colors and shapes, etc from their placemats and started thinking about what else they could learn. Why not life-affirming and life-changing scripture and principles?

in their own words :

"Tabletop TRUTHS is a collection of durable, colorful place mats designed to be used as a springboard to Biblical knowledge, spiritual growth and great family conversations. Each mat comes with thought-provoking questions, conversation starters and Scripture references to help you teach your children."

BRILLIANT.

and the Bonus? one side is totally cute house decor,

with the other side being the teaching materials.

love it.

Their website is http://tabletoptruths.blogspot.com/

Since We've Spoken Last...

2010-05-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

Judah and Micah turned one! (April 2)

Judah and Micah started walking (at almost 13 months)
Luke has not spent a single moment at home out of his Spiderman PJ's. (This is only a slight exaggeration.)
Joseph finished his regular semester of school and is now teaching May Term
Joseph and Crista each turned 32.

Here are some pictures!

Micah above. Judah below.

All three boys playing in the water and getting muddy! (left to right: J,L,M)

Proof that Luke LOOOOOOOOOOOVEs his Spiderman PJs

Micah above. He is always making this face. It's hilarious! Below is a picture from a few days after he was born making the same face. Ahhh flashback.

In other news, the Bailey house has taken a huge turn for the "funner" as the babies are getting older, more independent, and more interactive. We are playing, getting our chores done and starting to feel a little more normal. There is still a lot that i would define as chaos, but I'm having a great time!

Joseph and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in 9 days. Who could ever guess where we'd be? I wouldn't have missed a minute of it.

Until we see ya later gator,

Crista

Lock-In!

2010-02-24T19:10:00.000-08:00

We loaded up the Tahoe a week ago and headed down to College Station for our annual "Lock-In". What started 5 ish years ago with 4 couples who would meet and spend quiet days together doing whatever we wanted (!) has now grown to a loud (and immensely fun!) weekend of 8 adults and 9 children (age 4 and under) living for 36 hours under one roof, sharing a tiny slice of life together. Unfortunately, of those 17 people, 10 of us punctuated our time together with a stomach bug. Not so fun, especially since Micah's made its debut IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME. Repeatedly. Let it not overshadow the wonderful time we had, though!

The adults ~~ditched the kids~~ got a baby sitter on Friday night and had dinner and conversation. And we stayed out late! Whew. I felt 29 again! ha ha. Unfortunately, my dear Elizabeth had to leave us for the weekend because she was sick. We missed you EB! Then the rest of the weekend, we took time to laugh, have deep conversation, play with the kids etc. It was nice to not have an agenda, just to enjoy each other. Good times. Then Sunday we cleaned up, packed up and hopped around town to see the other College Stationians (?) that we love. It was so good to see Jess, Josh and the Alfords. Thank you for spending time with us! Luke especially loved playing with the turtles and cats with J/J and asked repeatedly for "Mr. Rick" to run him around the house and play swords together. We loved it!

In the picture above : Davis (2), Sam (3), Luke (3), Murphy (3), Greyson (4). Not pictured: Eli (17 months?), Lily (7 months), Judah and Micah (10 months).

LOVE LOVE LOVE these kids and the sweet friendship they already have. We are blessed by that same kind of friendship with their parents. DeVores, Stricklands, Moffitts, you are all such a deep well of sweet, sweet blessing for our family. There are friendships that you just can't explain why, but your heart is in it for life and we consider that to be true with you guys. What a source of encouragement, fun, community and genuine friendship you guys are! We love you!
Does anyone have a picture of the adults?

Let's see how many kids we can have this time next year! Ready, set, GO! Kidding. A lot of kidding.

2010-02-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

Luke is always, ALWAYS in costume these days. His repertoire includes, Buzz Lightyear (which is already tattered and torn from just 3 months ago), Batman (a Christmas must-have) Superman, Larry Boy, a frog, and a slew of masks I picked up at the party store (as above).

I LOVE his imagination and how he is eager to use it. He tells stories of his adventures with such enthusiasm. Get that kid an acting contract! No, scratch that. I'm not a good stage mom-- and its all about me, right?

We all know who's kidding, I hope.

Luke and Joseph have been reading through the Chronicles of Narnia. They finished "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" and are half way through "Prince Caspian". I'm so surprised how much LB is retaining. He's really getting it! JB will read a little, summarize, then rinse and repeat. I'm so thankful for such a sweet and engaging Daddy for my boys.

Let's check in on "Brothers" as they are affectionately called around here:

Judah on the left, Micah on the right.

This photo is about 2 months old, but it's the best i can do right now:)

Truly, just put a tiny bit more hair on them in your mind and its really accurate for today.
They will be 11 months next week! HARD. to. believe. It is still so busy and we still stay up until 11pm doing chores (because its impossible to get much done during the day) but I am having so much fun.

Judah is intent on learning how to walk. He's very focused. Also, he is experimenting with words such as "all done", "down", "dada", "mama", "bubba", "dat" (that), "ba" (bath) and a rare "pup pup" for dog. He also got his very first tooth last week!

Micah is enthralled with books and words. He even said "gook" the other day (for book) He also says "all done", "dada", "mama", "bubba", "dat" (that), "ba" (bath) "pup pup" for dog, and "did it". He is also trying to walk and likes to point out all the lights in a room. (judah does the light think too, just not as often) Micah got his first tooth 2 weeks ago and his second this week.

A side note: what a blessing that we have not gone through teething until now! I CANNOT imagine the discomfort and fussing of teething on the babies (and us!) during the previous months that were so labor intensive, and (for lack of a better word) hard. Don't misread "hard". "Hard" can be wonderful, it can be rewarding, it can really be priceless and precious and that is how I mean it in this case. Three small children (with twins in the mix) has been hard but WONDERFUL. I got a glimpse recently of how all too soon this stage of life will be over and I am clinging to the day-to-day with all I've got. I love this time of life!

I always pictured this stage of life a little cleaner and more organized. And my hair was always done and I never had my PJs on until 4 pm. But, though reality is much different than the "picture", i wouldn't change a thing. I revise, if Alice from the Brady Bunch could move in, I could deal with that change.

Well, that's all I've got for today. I've already broken the family rule of "blog brevity" so I must sign off for now.

LB has been knocking it out of the park with funny things to say lately and we just took a fun trip to College Station to see friends last week, so I'll try to write that up soon.

Just wanted to pop in and say hello!

Until we meet again...

Luke Bailey is 3!!!

2009-11-29T19:42:00.000-08:00

Luke Bailey! You're 3!

What a fun 3 years it has been. You add so much laughter, insight, fun, excitement and overall greatness to our life and our family. I love you so much!

We celebrated today with a Toy Story themed birthday party. Luke attended the party as Buzz Lightyear, as you can see in the picture. We gave him this costume for his birthday this morning at 9 am, and except for nap, it has been in place!

It was so precious. All day, he was in character. For example:

Luke asked "Mommy, where is Daddy?"
Me: "He's at church"
Luke: "No, you say 'Buzz Lightyear, daddy's at church'"

Or, if anyone called him Luke, he would be quick to remind them "you can call me Buzz Lightyear"

He had way too much birthday cake, played with every toy he owns with all of the kids who came over and finally fell asleep after singing songs and talking to himself for an hour. I guess he was worked up and had a good day and didn't want to sleep. That's fun. That was my goal.

I asked Luke if he could stay little for a while longer and he said "Naw, silly. I need to be as big as daddy"

FTR, yesterday he announced that when he grow up he wants to be a "green daddy". I think that is a very big deal, as green is his favorite color and that adds to the compliment that daddy is his favorite person.

I love you little man. If you must grow up will you please still always say "Oh! I most-tagot!" (I almost forgot) and call masks "mask-ez"?

2009-11-04T18:23:00.000-08:00

Check out my little men!
Now tell me if you can believe THIS! Luke will be 3 this month and Judah and Micah are 7 months old.

We are having fun at our house. Luke is such a big boy. He talks in very grown up language using phrases such as "actually, mommy, its called a jeep" and "as a matter of fact, I enjoyed it", but he still includes his little cute things like "Mommy, did you know that the airplanes go to the airporch? They do."

Luke, you make us laugh every single day and you are so much fun. You are so observant and clever that we've taught you what those words mean because we use them so often when we talk about you.

Judah and Micah are growing up! This is the month that they began waving and sitting up. Micah is very good at using the sign for "all done!" and Micah is also cocking his head to the side just to make us laugh. Already a jokester. Judah's wave is so intentional and charming. He is happiest just sitting in someone's lap. Both boys will giggle for apparently no reason, and think that Luke is the funniest thing. I have to agree with that.

Judah, you are so quick to smile. I love when you scream for no reason and then laugh like you are telling a good joke. You love to cuddle. You are also very impressively saying "hey" while you wave. I think that counts as a first word, don't you?

Micah, you love a good game. Peek-a-boo and tickling get you every time. You are quick to laugh and especially think Luke is funny.

Joseph is working on a little trick:
No need to call the authorities. Joseph is skilled in baby holding, yes, but he is also skilled in Photoshop.

Important Statistics

2009-09-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

This is so funny to me.

Update

2009-06-25T20:35:00.001-07:00

How about a new picture of my THREE boys!

Of course, though this was taken just a few weeks ago, it is already outdated as they change so quickly. The babies are 12 weeks old today. VERY hard to believe. Luke is now 2 1/2 and he'll tell you so. Its so cute. I need to post all the cute things he is saying these days. He is a TALKER! and a funny one at that. LOOOOOOVE that kid. Well, heck, I love all THREE. I keep putting THREE in capital letters because I can hardly believe I have THREE kids. Whew. crazy.

Well here's the picture. For your informational pleasure, I have included a key:

top- Judah
middle- Luke
bottom- Micah

A New Friend

2009-06-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sonic has a fun toy this week for the kids meal. A Bug Dome! Joseph took Luke to the park for an afternoon of play and when they came back home, a new resident had moved into the Bug Dome. It is a fire ant. Luke named him Joe Bob.

It's 3 days later and poor Joe Bob is already forgotten, but he sure was loved for a few hours! Speaking of...I should probably go set him free. FAR from my house of course. His friends are NOT invited.

Before and After

2009-06-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Before"
The close up at 12 weeks:

AFTER:
fully cooked!

We are having a blast with our new baby boys. They are SUCH good babies and so sweet. I can't believe they will be 9 weeks old on Thursday. Where does the time go? ( I think it goes somewhere involving the middle of the night and no sleep..the dimension of reality I've been in for a while now!)
I would like to give props though, to the boys who let me sleep quite a bit last night. Holla! (is that still cool? I thought not.)

This was fun. we should meet here again.

My 25 things

2009-02-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

So the thing on Facebook right now is to write 25 random things about yourself and tag your friends to write their own. You know, you've all done it before. So, I finally complied and thought it could double as a blog entry, as I am always behind on those! So here goes...

The RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I get in breakfast-ruts for weeks to months. This is where I eat the exact same thing everyday, never wavering until the next rut begins.

2. my current breakfast rut is a fried egg on toast with I can't believe its not butter Spray.

3. I'm like an addict with Diet Dr Pepper. I haven't had any since I became prego, but come april 2010, its on.

4. I have loose ligaments in my joints. for example, I twist my ankle pretty severely on a regular basis and have never been injured.

5. I LOVE to take really long showers and use all the hot water.

6. The only must see daytime TV for me is 2:45- 3 when Rachael Ray does her cooking segment.

7. I don't have cable

8. I've never really cared if my car is cool. As long as it works fine, I'm great!

9. I was the terrible student that my husband the professor complains about.

10. I've never left the North American continent.

11. I dislike air travel, but appreciate its convenience.

12. I despise being cold.

13. I love to sing.

14. On the first day of spring, I always want to go get a sonic drink and wash my car at a do it yourself place.

15. I actually like living in Abilene.

16. I'm running out of things to say.

17. Are you still reading this?

18. I have a foot in my rib at this very moment

19. I'm about to be the only woman in the house with 4 boys and a boy dog.

20. I love to hike. easy trails--lets not get crazy here people. you now know about my loose ligaments.

21. I LOOOOOOVE Jesus and how personally He loves us.

22. Ok... this is cheesy..I love to read christian fiction novels, and if they are set in the 1800's, even better.

23. I also love cheesy Christian movies.

24. Almost every single time I watch Deal or not Deal, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, or Private practice, I ball like a baby.

25. I love to read blogs. I'm inspired my other people's stories.

And for your early Christmas present, I haven't tagged anyone, because that puts expectation on you and I want ours to be a relationship of freedom. :)

Where are My Standards?

2009-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

Isn't this a perfectly acceptable lunch?

I do what I can.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving found the Baileys at Grandma Lucy's house in Perryton, Tx. We talked a lot, laughed a lot, shopped a lot and Joseph rabbit hunted A LOT.

We love it at Grandma Lucy's. She is the hostest with the mostest, and a lot of fun to boot. She lives on a bunch of land outside a neat little town and visits are always relaxing and enjoyable.

One of the many funny things that happened was towards the end of our trip. Luke kept playing in the ice chest with sodas in it, so his grandma (my mother) decided to make it a productive thing. She had him take sodas to everyone that wanted one. He obliged and did a great job at remembering names. Finally my mom said "take a coke to Aunt Peggy." This is what he did:

I love that kid.

What is This?

2008-11-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

I peeled an onion today to prepare to chop it and this is what I found:

There were 2 separate onions housed in the same skin. They are not connected at all at that line. What is it? Maybe....twin onions?

Now that's just funny.

I agree with the comments on the last post. I think God is telling me He is mindful of us. Of this I am SOOOOOOOOOO grateful. He takes the time to show us He cares for us. Oh how He loves us!!

I also think He has a sense of humor.

Cute, God. Cute.

My Life in a Mixing Bowl?

2008-10-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

So I was baking last Tuesday. I was making brownies for our dear friends the Moores who just had their sweet baby Niah.

The recipe called for 2 eggs. I cracked the first egg in the bowl. Then the second. But this one was different. It was a twin egg! A perfectly separated nucleus. Staring into that mixing bowl, I laughed to myself and said "Well there's my life in a mixing bowl!" Referring, of course, to having a singleton (Luke) first and then surprise twins next.

I thought it was cute so I took a picture.

Well then Wednesday I was baking again. Banana bread this time. Luke's favorite! The recipe called for one egg. I cracked it open and this is what I found:

Another perfectly split twin egg!!

And then I fainted.

Well, not physically, but, holy cow! Have you ever seen a twin egg? Not me! What are the odds of seeing two in a row? Perhaps the odds of having sets of twins two in a row?

Is this my life in a mixing bowl? It should be fun to ride this one out.

I've quit using eggs for the time being.

Surprise!

2008-09-12T11:30:00.001-07:00

Confession: I can never remember how to spell "surprise".

But that's not the point of this blog entry. This is:

YES! It's TWINS! They are due April 24, 2009. My doctor doesn't expect them to make it much passed 37 or 38 weeks though, so we are looking at early to mid-April to welcome these babies!

I think the great philosopher, Popeye captured my thoughts best when he said "Well blow me down!".

So here is the story.

Monday, September 8, Joseph and I went for the routine 8-week ultrasound. Glancing at the screen, I saw the blinking light of the baby's heart beat! So exciting! Then the wand moved a little and I saw an identical blinking light just to the left of the first one.
I asked "What is that? Is that my artery or something?" I knew perfectly well what it was, but I was unable to imagine it was true. The technician kept her poker face and invited an additional person in to get a second opinion. The second technician confirmed what we thought but could not believe. We are having twins!

Tears in my eyes, joyful of course, I turned to look at Joseph. His mouth was wide open, his head shaking slowly from side to side. We were in SHOCK!
The next several days were a haze of calling and rejoicing with friends and family. My dad, who is an identical twin, was giddy! He had called it! My mom had also been pulling for twins so, of course, she was thrilled.
I think we are still walking around shaking our heads, unable to fathom what we are in for, but what a blessing!

WOW.

Well then, of course, an ugly little bug called Fear immediately tried to sneak in, as it does often in attempt to spoil wonderful things. My thoughts flitted between a friend who had miscarried a twin, to the story of a twin mom who was on bed rest for weeks, to my own father who was born 6 weeks early and faced medical issues as a baby. Thankfully, my doctor gave me great advice in the midst of this. He said "Let's not borrow from tomorrow. I'll worry about the 'what-ifs' and in the moments like this one where everything looks great, you rejoice!"
I thank God everyday for doctors who love Him!

In a quieter moment, my thoughts also brought me back to April, 2008. We had a conference at church that taught about how God uses words of encouragement given to his saints to lift up the Body of Christ. The "freaky-Jesus" term is prophecy. Well, at this conference we learned that anyone can be used to encourage the Body, so we were instructed to "pair off" with someone we didn't know at all and pray that God would reveal some sort of specific encouragement for that person.

The lady who was my partner got a "word" almost immediately. She told me "I see a full womb! A womb that is irrevocably full". I was not pregnant at the time, but knew that we wanted to expand our family soon, so I thanked her for sharing and just "stuck it in my pocket" as the saying goes.

I think of the significance of it now. A FULL womb. Whew, she wasn't kidding! And "irrevocably full" nonetheless. I have no choice in that "word" but to dismiss the fear the Enemy tries to insert! My God encouraged me 4 months before I knew I was pregnant for a time that he knew full well about. Oh how He loves us!

And one more thing. The encouraging word was given to me in April the very same month the babies are due. What a promise! I am claiming it in the Name of the LORD!

So, surprise! Here's to the next 18 years. I think I need a nap!

New Parking Spot

2008-09-06T08:45:00.002-07:00

I have a new parking spot at the Grovcery Store:

That's right! A new Bailey Baby coming your way April 2009!

2008-07-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, Let me see if I can see through these blurry tears to imbed this video I just watched.

I've seen this story several times, about a father who trained for triathlons all because his disabled son had a dream to complete them. But I'm not sure if I've ever seen it as a parent.

Lord, when all is said and done, let it be said of me that I loved my family this selflessly. I'm an imperfect parent without your Grace. Love them through me!

Camp Bonita- June 15th-20th

2008-07-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

For the 3rd year in a row all the Baileys (Joseph, Crista, and Luke) Joined the ranks of volunteers for Kids Camp at Camp Bonita north of Ruidoso, NM. This was Joseph’s 4th year actually. He’s the one that got the Baileys on the Kids camp train.

Camp Bonita is a week in the mountains, praising the Lord and loving on kids. It is always TONS of work, but oh so worth it. I love it! I’m already doing the math so I can time it just right to have a baby around the camp schedule. Maybe I’m kidding, if only a little.

Even though Luke is 1 ½, this is how he counts for 3 years:
Year 1 2006: Luke in utero (I was 4 months prego), Year 2- 2007” Luke 7 months, Year 3-2008 Luke 19 months.

You may feel that the prego year didn’t count for Luke attendance. On the contrary! Hiking up mountains, carrying all the camp nurse supplies and wearing myself out taking care of 300 kids--it counts. I was very aware that Luke was there with me.

But, I digress.

This year was especially fun for all of us because Luke really got into playing with the other kids and was very aware of all of the fun. He was a champ! He missed a lot of sleep, but was a real trooper!

He went to Band practice while Mom and Dad rehearsed:

Ate Plenty of dessert:

And rekindled old friendships with Carol who works in the cafeteria. Sweet Carol. She remembered us!
2007- 7 months old (Luke, not Carol)
2008: Luke is 19 months

God did some amazing things in the lives of the kids and counselors.
For instance, in my previous camp nurse experience, there was a slew of illness and injury, to the point where I was overwhelmed and a few ER visits transpired. This year, as all of the onslaught started on the first night, Pastor Randy prayed for healing and wellness over the entire camp. And, would you know it, medically speaking I was pretty bored (compared to previous years)! PRAISE THE LORD! That’s how we nurses like it!

Also, Ruidoso is in the middle of a pretty bad drought. The kids had compassion on Ruidoso and even though it would affect camp activities, they prayed for rain to come. The weather report showed 0% chance of Rain and God was merciful and it rained that day!!

Testify!

That’s my new "Jesus form" of “Holla!” Think it will catch on?

Me neither.

No Longer Scared of the "Big Boy Tub"

2008-06-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

May

2008-06-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

So, hey, Crista. How's that "documenting your family" going?

Fine, thank you. I've written several blogs in my head. You haven't read them?

Oh. Ok here's the Cliffs Notes.

May 7th: The Baileys packed up and headed to Burleson for my mom's retirement reception. Mom is an elementary school teacher in the public school system. She's served 24+ years to molding young minds and she is fabulous at it! The time has come to leave the public school system behind to embrace the private school sector. We're so proud of you Mom!

On a funny note, the reception honored several teachers that were retiring and the emcee asked for each retiree to introduce their family who had come to celebrate with them. It was really great for my mom to be able to introduce all of us as we were all able to make it, even my dad who had to work extra hard to fly in from Chicago. Well, it came around to one precious lady who stood and said "No one is here with me today, I'm alone." Quickly the emcee repiled "you're not alone, we are your family!" This was met by the crowd responding with affectionate versions of "yeah! yeah, we're your family!" The room soon quieted and from my arms I heard Luke's sweet little voice respond "Yeah!"

May 10th: My Sweet friend Jennifer threw a Mother's Day brunch for her friends. Very sweet!

May 12th. (Deep breath. *gulp*) I turned 30.

There it is. I said it. That's taken a lot of positive self talk to admit openly! Really it didn't hurt that bad. It does sting a little each time I answer the "how old are you?" question or when I check the age 30-39 demographic on questionnaires. I'm sure this pain will dull with time.

I awoke to the smell of Bacon. Awesome, right? JB had gotten up early to make very yummy breakfast burritos and took me and Luke on a breakfast picnic. It was so fun and thoughtful! We fed ducks, played on the playground. Good times.

That night, the same sweet Jennifer as above helped JB throw a birthday party for me. It was a good night of friends, Sam's pizza and cake. Does it get better? I submit that it does not!

May 16th: Joseph's sister Keri and her husband Chad gave us an overnight date! It was complete with childcare, Outback gift card and a local hotel room. It was fun to go to a movie and a late dinner and linger over coffee and have adult conversation. This was a present for both of our 30th birthdays and we are so grateful. Such generosity!

The rest of the month was a fun mix of dinner with friends, baby birthday parties and a few photo shoots with JB.

And who could forget Memorial Day slip-n-slides with the Hoes family?

It was a good May.

There are the Cliff's Notes. Pop Quiz on Monday.

Luke Tells a Joke

2008-05-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Interesting tidbit: I was driving while I filmed this with my phone. However, no lives were endangered in the making of this movie.

Mas Queso?

2008-05-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

My New Favorite Picture

2008-05-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

My Boys

And the talent behind the view finder? That's right. Yours truly. Ok, ok, JB set up the lighting, the timing, the background and even edited it, but the glory always goes to the one who pushed the button.

This is my moment. *bask*

An Answer

2008-05-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

You are lying in bed. It's dark, the house is quiet. If only you could sleep, but your mind keeps racing around one question. Does it have an answer? Could anyone even know the depths of it?

The Question that won't let you rest:

"What would Delta Airlines' response be should I ever (minimally) be of assistance in helping save someone's life in-flight?"

You can rest now. I have the answer and it came via USPS.

It's not round-trip first class airfare to Hawaii, but it was thoughtful. I seriously wasn't expecting anything other than legal hassle when they asked for my address.

Sleep tight.

Happy Birthday Joseph!

2008-05-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we celebrated Joseph's birthday. But not just any birthday. The big 3-0.
How do you create a special day for someone who can read you with just a glance? How do you surprise someone who is always on the lookout?

Well, I think I did it!

I was going for memorable. Thus, the Joseph Bailey T-shirt was created. With the help of a t-shirt genius, Scott, we had shirts made of Joseph. It features a picture of Joseph with a handlebar mustache (which he shaved down from a beard just to gross me out) and the slogan "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving."

I cooked a huge breakfast and invited friends from our life group. Said friends were gracious enough to get in on the t-shirt gag and purchased their own and wore them to the breakfast as a surprise to JB. It was priceless!

The day of the party, I asked Joseph if he could help me by getting Luke dressed in what I set out for him while I finished up cooking. (Luke had a shirt with just JB's face as it was too small for the text) While I am in the kitchen laughing hysterically, Joseph comes in and says "Crista, who's on his shirt?" Amidst my laughing he exclaims "Is that me?!?!?!?"

I give him a shirt to wear and he appreciates the gag and congratulates me on catching him off guard.

Slowly the rest of the plot becomes obvious to him. First with: "do you have a shirt too?", then: (in embarrassed shock) "who else has one of these shirts?" Finally as people started arriving wearing the aforementioned shirt, he just shook his head in disbelief and said "Holy cow, Crista, you got me."

Insert victory dance here.

Here's some pics so you can enjoy the magic too.

Here's the birthday boy:
Those in attendance at breakfast:
Everyone making the face JB is making in the photo on the shirt
Luke in the Shirt. He kept pointing to the artwork and saying "da da!"

To add to the fun, people were wearing the shirts at worship band practice the next morning and some even wore them to first service at church. Kudos to Todd who wore it the entire morning on stage for 3 services while playing the drums.

This kind of gag really never goes away. For years to come we will be reminded of Joseph in all his handlebar stache glory.

Love you JB!!

It's Me Again

2008-04-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

So here’s a u-turn. I’ve been on a 2 year hiatus from blogging because I feel I have run out of fodder as it pertains to my subject matter.

A brief reference:

Previous blog: outrageous/bizarre stories related to my career as a nurse, car owner, telemarketing victim.

New Blog: Document my family. I know I’ll wish I did if I don’t!

I dread knowing that my blog will now be a tad boring and full of stuff you may care nothing about, but to me it will be priceless. I bet your heart does not twitter when my son learns a new word or tells his first joke, but boy mine does! So here, I will document what happens in the Bailey Palace, what the Lord whispers deep in my heart, and a little bit of ridiculousness. You can read along if you’d like, or just visit when you feel the urge to refresh yourself about the adventures of Ms. Miller or Ms. Jones. Those ladies are always a good read.

So buckle up, we’re making a u-turn. And I’m baaaaa-aaack!

P.S. The picture was a little present from Joseph.

Sheesh

2006-06-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

So..funny story….
I went to a Life Group meeting last night which also happened to be a potluck dinner. I was wearing a maroon maternity shirt, as I am building quite a bump.
I walked out of the restroom which was next door to the playroom where the children were playing.
At that time I overheard one of the girls say in disgust to her friend, “Did you see the lady in the maroon shirt with the kinda fat tummy? She was eating a cupcake!”

Guess she didn’t know WHY I had a “kinda fat tummy” I should probably still lay off the cupcakes, though!

Conspiracy Theory

2006-06-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

I try not to practice paranoia, but I think there is a largely neglected conspiracy in the Universe. I have not heard of any research grants for this, nor have I really met anyone in a panic to push legislation to initiate them either.

I’m talking about the alternate universe to where all spare socks go. I have no less than 20 single socks-very cute socks in fact-that are absolutely useless to me. I’ve turned every couch cushion, searched under every bed and cleaned out all the drawers at one point or another, only to end my search dejected and confused.

I’m afraid to buy more socks. What will keep those from falling prey to this unseen danger?

I just wanted to raise awareness.

Hats are Dropping

2006-05-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

They say in pregnancy, the surge of hormones can make your emotions sway from one extreme to another. They (whoever “they” is) say that it makes you cry at the drop of a hat.

Now, I submit that I am immune to this and that every time of the 5 times I cried yesterday was for a completely rational reason. Even the biggest grouse would have reacted the way I did.

Well, maybe not. I cried at 3 email forwards, a pharmaceutical research company commercial, and Deal or No Deal. But that Howie Mandel is a really touching guy! The contestants have to make really hard decisions! It’s gripping!

I know, even though I’ve spent my entire life trying not to be, I’m nothing more than a statistic.

Exasperation Defined

2006-03-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

I am trusting. That is different from naive. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps that is why I believed the telephone survey guy when he asked for a moment of my time.

Webster says a "moment" is : 1 a : a minute portion or point of time : INSTANT b : a comparatively brief period of time.

I asked this man what was his definition of a "moment". He replied that he only required 3 minutes. THIRTEEN minutes later I had answered every invented useless question related to taco establishments.

He asked me if I had ever eaten at an establishment named "Baja Fresh".
I answered No.
The very next question was "Do you like Taco Bueno or Baja Fresh better?"
My answer: "I don't know what Baja Fresh is"
Next question: "How would you rate the cleanliness of Baja Fresh versus Taco Bell?"
My answer: "I don't know what Baja Fresh is"
Next question: "Do you eat at Baja Fresh a. one time a week, b. 2-3 times a week, c. 5 times a week, d.--"
I couldn't let him finish. "Seriously, I can't answer any questions about Baja Fresh"
"Ok Ma'am, I'm sorry. Now, would you recommend Baja Fresh to your friends?"

What I do recommend to my friends is to hang up if the survey guy asks you for "3" minutes of your time.

The "Not-So-Easy-Button"

2006-03-21T09:10:00.000-08:00

Is life getting too easy? I just used a calculator for double digit addition. I think that the key to preventing the demise of our intellect in the society of the “easy button” is to implement a “not so easy button”.

What if your calculator refused to solve simple problems? The readout would say…. "Duh. Do it yourself!"

What if the TV remote control did not work at close range?

What if your car went into “penalty phase” after you drove less than ½ a mile to a destination? I drive 2 blocks to the gym to work out.

What if email only allowed “x” number of correspondences before a face to face or “real letter” was initiated?

Nah, I like easy.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

2006-03-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

There is at my house!

Congrats to my husband Burrojoe for passing his dissertation defense on Friday!

Now he's Dr. Burrojoe.

He's brainy AND Cute! Beat that ladies!

Cars are no longer People

2006-03-07T13:30:00.000-08:00

And the saga continues again...(and then abruptly ends. Then begins, then ends.)

Summer 1997-In comes the 1992 Silver Mitsubishi Eclipse originally named Joshua after my favorite U2 Album, Joshua Tree. You know how God changed people’s names in the bible to better suit them? That is why I changed the name of this car to "Saul of Tarsus". This is because he was persecuting Christians---me especially.

I learned very quickly it was a bad idea to buy a car from a man named Sam who knew little English and operated out of a building the size of a snow cone stand. Also, a valid reason for choosing one car over the other was not that it had a cooler CD player. That aside, it took 3 engines, 2 timing belts, 3 radiators and a myriad of other things to go wrong with it before I had finally had enough. My sweet parents had to finance all of the above as I was a poor college student, so they should be bitterer than me.

I can count no less than 15 places in town where I have broken down. It seems like all of the places I broke down were abandoned hotels, Adult book stores, dark, scary gas stations on the bad side of town. Once this car broke down simultaneously with the onset of a stomach virus. Bad Day.

Now with the spirit of optimism, I would like to point out, that through these experiences I met some wonderful people...among them Benny the mechanic, his wife and (before Benny took charge of the repair) the other random people that would wait at Pep boys during my several hours there. That's where the sweet fluffiness ends.

When Joseph and I finally traded "Saul of Tarsaus" in, we were less excited about our new car purchase than getting rid of that car. We laughed like little children all the way home!

It was after this car that I stopped naming my automobiles. If they were going to let me down this much, I could no longer trust them or be respectful of them, so they became just another piece of machinery to me. Sad, that I had to become this way, because the 4 cars after that were super dependable and don’t deserve my indifference or wrath. Sometimes life (or a car) jades us beyond repair, no mechanic pun intended. But that’s just the way it is!

Cars Cars and more Cars

2006-03-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

So the car drama continues.... 1995-1997 Black 1992 Chevy Cavalier named Job. Job earned his name for all the trials I put him through and he still remained faithful. He was quite possibly the most dependable car of my teenage life. Until John Cathy wrecked it coming back from Sigma Alpha formal. Not bitter, but my car dependability life suffered greatly after it.

Spring 1997 Blue and rust (all natural) colored 1985 Honda Accord. Named appropriately P.O.C.O. which stood for Piece-O-Crap-O. However annoying that you had to fill the tires every time you drove, POCO had his charms and served me well for the short time I drove him. For instance, how loveable is a car that had power lock (singular). The back left passenger door was the only one that worked when you hit the power lock button. Very convenient for that passenger, not so convenient for the others. POCO was actually a loaner from my brother, so thanks Brad!

This is the mundane area. Sweet memories for me, probably a pretty boring read for you. I would hate to skip these cars in my brief history of cars, as they played a role in the feelings and drama to be unfolded in the next blog about Saul.

So all of you who have been praying for patience, consider me a tool of the Lord and this blog as your first trial!

Cars are people too

2006-03-01T13:32:00.001-08:00

A car can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I’ve learned in my short 12 years of driving that this can be true. I think car ownership has possibly even jaded my world view a bit. I’m not near as trusting as I was at the tender age of 16.
And thus begins a brief history of my automotive life.

We'll start with the first car and gradually continue.

1994- My first car was a blue 1987 Mazda. I named him Melton. Melton seemed like a chariot of freedom but strangely he smelled strongly of gas. I asked my dad if this was odd, as I had splitting headaches from the fumes every time I drove. I’m not just talking a scent….I’m talking OVERWHELMING stench of gas. A year later, when looking under the hood of my car, my dad noticed that gas was actually spurting on the engine. Amazing that I’m alive

Another adventure encountered with Melton:

Suprisingly modern for its age, Melton had a full digital dash; digital odometer, spedometer, gas tank readout. Typically you can depend on such gages, but with Melton, you could only depend on them if the temperature out side was 90 degrees or higher. Needless to say, I got everywhere VERY quickly (it's not speeding if you don't know how fast you are going, right?) and I ran out of gas OFTEN. Seven times? Now don't judge me. You may have run out too in these circumstances. Or maybe not. It did get to where I would call home from some strange place (pre-cell phone days) and say "guess what?" to which my parents would immediately ask "AGAIN?"

I may be the only person on record to get grounded for running out of gas.

I guess that all of us can't be in a hall of fame. But maybe this is mine.

stay tuned for the adventures with Job and Saul.

Kinda fits the "Optimist Club Title" donchathink? (aka...I'm so predictable!)

2006-02-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you
Your flirting style: friendly and sweet
What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance
Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Just in case you are wondering...

2006-02-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

7 things to do before I die:

1. be in shape
2. be a mom/be a homemaker
3. travel the world
4. be the Hardin-Simmons nurse
5. be married to JB forever
6. live somewhere pretty
7. have a dog named “Aunt Melissa”

7 things i cannot or will not do:

1. Get Rid of Mr. Watson. (so stop asking Joseph)
2. go for long, extended amounts of time without seeing my family
3. stop loving diet Dr. Pepper
4. enjoy working out… sometimes you just have to do things you don’t want to.
5. cut carbs. I’ve already had 4 pieces of bread today and rice and its only 3:00
6. stop loving Joseph
7. dislike someone without a good reason

7 things that attract me to my spouse:

1. his love for Christ and the way he lives that out
2. the way that people are drawn to him
3. his eyes
4. his sweet guitar playing skills
5. the way he makes me laugh all the time
6. he has an inside joke with almost everyone he knows
7. how he truly is my best and favorite friend (stole this quote from a friend-well spoken lh)

7 things i say most often:

1. “where are my keys?"
2. "I really need to get out of bed. I have to be at work in 20 minutes!"
3. "you’re nice" (when I am given a compliment--instead if accepting it and saying "thank you")
4. "anyone want to go to Cold Stone?"
5. "Joseph, can I quit my job and sleep all day?"
6. "I'm really going to start Weight Watchers again tomorrow"
7. "Mr. Watson, Leave it!! Don’t eat pecans!"

7 books or series i love:

1. Christy
2. Redemption series
3. Redeeming Love
4. Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
5. “When Pixels Speak: Why games deserve free speech, why they will never get free speech” (JB’s dissertation)
6. The Secret Garden
7. Nicholas Sparks books

7 movies i could watch over and over again:
(much to my beloveds chagrin)

1. Sweet Home Alabama
2. The Notebook
3. Legally Blonde
4. While You Were Sleeping
5. White Christmas
6. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
7. Wedding Planner

Don't Show All Your Cards

2006-01-30T19:59:00.000-08:00

Secrets are not my forte.

Don't misunderstand me. If you tell me something in confidence, most likely it will remain hidden in my thoughts (albeit bouncing around wildly out of control) not to be revealed until given permission. The one whose confidence I betray most is myself.

If I am playing cards, I cannot cope with the knowledge of a great hand- or poor hand for that matter -all to myself. Hints fall out of my mouth, comments are like stray bullets. My face also tells the story. I'm going to leave the Vegas poker tables alone for now.

I don't think even once, Joseph reached a birthday or Christmas without knowing what I bought him.

Today at the gym, I was talking to the GM about payment options; she asked me why I was reticent to sign a year contract. Before tact or reason could take control, I blurted out "Because I'm a flake". Not good, Crista. Who's going to help out a flake. I just might go in my first day and yell, "Please waste your time on me!"

Lastly, a friend pointed out the frailty and transparency of my gift receiving procedure. Have I only been kidding myself? Now, this is the truth. I am always grateful for any gift that anyone gives me. I find that the thoughtfulness and sacrifice touch me far deeper than the quality of the product. That being said, I have realized that If I receive something that is not exactly what I would have chosen, I will compliment it on one particular attribute. For example, "Thank you for the bright orange Mohair sweater. Its so soft!" In actuality, "soft" does not win a sweater its way into my wardrobe. "Cute" is the ranking factor. Its just true. But the eternal optimist in me will bring these accolades to the surface.

Well, now that's great. I just showed you all my cards. Christmas should be fun.

I'm Alive

2006-01-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

I survived my second attempt at skiing! I will fill you in on my first attempt so that you can have an idea of how joyous my victory was!

The year was 1995, the place Angel Fire, New Mexico. I was a confident 17 year old joining this world of skiers that I had heard so much about.

I gathered my equipment and headed to ski school. My instructor was a frenchman named Jean Marie (make sure you read his name with a French accent). The humiliation began at that moment. 12 year olds quickly picked up Jean Marie's instruction while I struggled to stay on my feet in line for my turn to snow plow. It was my turn and I fell flat on my rear end!

Jean Marie tried to help me up but in the process, my ski whipped around and slammed him in the knee. He hobbled and cursed under his breath at the injury. He released everyone to the slopes and turned to me, pointed and said "YOU Are not ready! Come back to ski school this afternoon."

I Failed Ski School!!

Dejected, I tried to ski down the bunny slope towards my cabin. After falling 3 times, I removed my skis and trudged home. I spent the rest of the weekend watching "The Breakfast Club". Four times.

I'm proud to report that this weekend, after a morning and 1/2 afternoon of falling and crying, I finally became one of you.... a skier.

The irony....I not too intelligently undertook this challenge while my insurance was on hiatus (due to comapany billing mix up) but I left the slopes unscathed. And hour later, however, in the shower, the shampoo bottle fell on my foot causing my only injury.

I'm healing fine, though, now...thank you for asking.

Jan 12, 2006...A Return to Blogging

2006-01-12T09:59:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to see "The Pastor's Wife", "My favorite Brother whose name is Brad" and "Tex" back with new posts today after an extended break. They are all great posts. Check them out with my conveniently located links to the right.
Have a great day. I'm learning how to ski this weekend maybe, so there may be much fodder for this blog page when I return.

Foot in Mouth

2006-01-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

I have to tell a story on My beloved--BurroJoe.

The day after we were married we were on our way toward south Texas, our honeymoon destination.

As is policy whenever one is near, we stopped to eat at Cracker Barrell. A beautiful May afternoon lured us out to sit in the rocking chairs on the front porch as we waited for our table.
As we were waiting, we heard on the intercom "Rick, party of one, Rick Party of one, your table is ready".

Rick stood up from a rocking chair down from ours and began walking toward us in the direction of the restaurant door.

Not noticing this BurroJoe then very loudly quipped, in Rick's earshot "Who eats alone? Rick Party of One!! HA! Loser Party of one! That's what that means." I was horrified!

Sorry Rick. I bet you aren't a loser, but if you are we probably shouldn't have rubbed it in.

Grandma Lucy

2005-12-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

For Christmas Day, we went to Perryton, Texas to Grandma Lucy's house. Grandma is lots of fun, cooks really well and she can quote the entire Bible (nearly).

I'll give you just a glimpse of this fun loving lady with a few quotes.

Playing cards:
"I'm not being nice, I'm just trying to beat you"
"Play 'til you win or you won't sleep well"
"I always play to win" (even against a 4 year old!)
"We can't stop now, its only midnight. Renee will play with me until 2 am"
"Crista thinks she's too special to shuffle cards" I really just forgot to help.

Meal time:
"I know you just ate breakfast at 11:30, but its 12 and its dinner time"
"You have to have 5 things on your plate and butter doesn't count"
"I don't eat very much dinner, then I wouldn't have room for candy"
"Nobody ever leaves my house hungry"

On Nutrition:
"They say dark chocolate is better for you than milk chocolate, because it has more cocoa. I don't like dark chocolate so I just eat twice as much milk chocolate for the benefits"
"For dinner last night I had candy"

Miscellaneous:
When I was fixing her shirt collar she said "Its no use, it won't help this galloping horse"
When she was offered a drink with dinner she said "No thanks, I'm driving to town later" (We meant water, she was kidding, of course)
When I answered the door bell at her house she was standing outside and said "I just wanted to know if you liked me enough to let me in."
When I filled out her Mary Kay order form on Christmas Day, I absentmindedly asked the day's date. She asked "Do you sell any smart pills?"

There are tons more stories that may come out later. She's just such a special lady. She's the youngest 85 year old I've even met!

2005-12-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

Best in Class

Just a thought that occurred to me in the many hours we've already logged on the freeway this holiday season......

Don't you think the person driving the big trucks labeled "Flammable" should be valedictorian of truck driving school or, at the very least, employee of the month? That, then, may cut out the fear that we experienced as the Flammable truck swerved in and out of our lane of traffic. Maybe this driver was a fill in because of Christmas vacation. That's what I choose to believe. The Valedictorian will be back after New Year's.

Are my expectations too high? I feel about the same with brain surgeons and bomb squad leaders.

2005-12-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

Possible

As is common in the world of nursing I was helping a woman with a bedside bath. This consists of a bucket of soapy water and wash cloths...just so you get a picture. The woman I was assisting was a delightful woman, fun to talk to. I was setting up the supplies for her bath when she said "Well, do you know how to wash Grandma?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

She grinned and answered, "We'll wash grandma as far down as possible, then we'll wash as far up as possible, then we'll wash Possible!"

That was the first time I'd heard it put that way!

2005-12-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

Common Ground

From time to time I have a patient that speaks only Spanish. I don’t speak much Spanish, so the time I spend caring for those patients tends to be quiet or filled with frustrated attempts on either side to make needs known. Without fail however, there has always been common ground provided by pop culture.

For instance, after almost an entire shift of barely communicating with one gentleman, I motion that I need to plug in his IV pump, as the batteries were running down. The bright light of understanding appeared in his eyes as he enthusiastically sang “Plug eet eehn, Plug eet eehn!” Thank you Glade!

Another example, I tried to communicate to a man on strict bed rest to use the handheld urinal if he needed to urinate. I held it up and said “el bano”- Spanish for “bathroom”. His eyes got very wide and frightened and in perfect English asked, “Number one or number two?”
Thank you, moms everywhere!

Lastly, I cared for a blind Spanish speaking woman. Even though I placed the call bell in her hand, she preferred screaming her requests. One day I heard her screaming “senorita, necesita caca!” meaning “miss, I need to #*&$!!” Thank you cussing guy in Spanish class!

2005-12-04T20:44:00.000-08:00

Did you know I'm the devil?

I happened upon Mrs. Schmidt* as she was walking out of her hospital room ripping her clothes off yelling "Schmitty! Schmitty!"

"Mrs Schmidt, what's the matter?", I asked.

"I'm looking for Schmitty"

"Who's Schmitty?"

At that moment Mrs. Schmidt's eyes narrowed into a quintessential GTH look. "Don't give me that. You know exactly who Schmitty is. Schmitty is my husband!! Where is he...you know where he is!!"

Shocked I responded "Mrs Schmidt I do not know your husband or where your husband is, let me help you to bed where you can rest"

"NO! I'm going to the bathroom." I helped her in the bathroom and before I could leave she got an evil look in her eye and said "I Hate YOU. I know who you are. YOU ARE THE DEVIL!!!"

Spent, I glared straight back in her eyes and said "Mrs. Schmidt, I've been here helping you all day and the least you could do is treat me with kindness"

She only glared at me with the same hatred and said "You are all the same. everyone of you."

I just let it go and helped her to bed and prayed very hard that she would fall asleep so I could get my work done. An hour later, I walked hesitantly into Mrs. Schmidt's room to find a pleasant, well rested lady who turned to me and exclaimed "There's my favorite girl! I love you!"

True Story.

2005-11-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

What's the Deal?

Just a little thought... How ironic is it that on the last Thursday of November every year we use our vacation time to have a feast to celebrate all we are thankful for and then on the last Friday of November every year is the most violent shopping day of the year. You can almost hear the "gimme, gimme, gimme's" ringing out all over America.
Most of those people we saw on TV practically killing each other for a discounted TV most likely went straight home and ate left overs from the aforementioned feast of thankfulness.
Ironic.

2005-11-22T15:57:00.000-08:00

Of Course!

On one particular Friday 2 weeks ago, I really wanted an Arby's Sandwich. I could taste it. Its actually been years since I ate Arby's so who knows why I had such a hankering for it. I drove through Arby's on my way home from running errands.

I was sitting in the middle lane of the street waiting to turn left to go home. A homeless man in a wheelchair was holding a cardboard sign that said he was hungry. I quickly deduced that it was not God's will to give him my sandwich. I was in the middle lane, not the left lane, after all. Then I realized I was lying to myself and that I would never enjoy that sandwich when someone blocks from my home was hungry. The light turned green so I turned left and looped around the freeway back to give the man my lunch.

When I made it back to the intersection, I noticed my poor friend in a wheel chair had been booted from his corner by another, younger man, who was holding his own sign. I felt the Lord tell me that it was not my call who I was to feed, I was just to be obedient. So, I rolled down my window and asked the man if he was hungry. "OH Yes, Ma'am!!" was his quick answer. I handed him my Arby's bag and felt a little better that I could help my fellow man.

As I drove through the light, I noticed the man in the wheelchair under the bridge. I decided to loop back around and stop at Arby's to replace my sandwich and get one for the man who first got me on this mission. I was too embarrassed to drive through Arby's again, so I went inside and asked for 2 sandwiches each in a different bag. No eye contact, no questions, I just wanted to give the man some roast beef and be on my way.

I made it back to the intersection and drove up to feed the man in the wheelchair, and wouldn't you know he had a friend with him. I rolled down my window and reluctantly handed them both bags. Full of thankfulness, the men shouted "God bless you, baby!"

I drove off. 30 minutes, and 3 homeless men later I had no Arby's sandwich, and there was NO WAY this fat kid was going back to Arby's for the third run in 30 minutes.

I drove home and ate a bowl of cereal.

2005-11-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

What I "Use-ta Think" Part II

The appendix is what collects all the pennies you swallow
(in a nursing school lecture I had a moment where I said….wait a minute…..)

I actually was Wonder Woman whenever I had my costume on

Holly would really stop being my best friend if I didn’t lose the “math bee” on purpose (we’ve been best friends for 27 years…but I did lose the math bee on purpose so I guess we’ll never know :) j/k Holly)

The Sonic sign said “Happy Easter” (It really said Happy Eating)

Maxi pads were for women’s bras

My dolls would get jealous if they did not rotate who got to sleep by me.

Every hairy fat man was a kidnapper.

What did you “Use-ta think?”

2005-11-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

What I “Use-ta Think” Part I

When asked if I wanted to go to heaven someday, I asked for the option of coming back after a short visit there.

The way you got to heaven was Jesus flew down to get you and you put on your superman cape and flew up to heaven with him. Imagine my horror and grief when my sister sold my superman cape in our neighbor’s garage sale. I thought I had lost my salvation.

For those without superman capes, God made staircases (what I now know to be jet exhaust) for them to climb to heaven

When you “gave your offering to God” at church, the offering counters would put it in the plate and set it in the middle of the aisle after the church service and it would levitate up to heaven while the counters peeked through the sanctuary doors.

Witnessing to my friends meant taking my Sunday School book to school and telling everyone they better come to our bible study at recess if they didn’t want to go to hell.

What did you "Use-ta Think" about God and heaven?
(Next issue will address all the other aspects of life)

2005-11-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Miller again

The next day I returned to work and who was on my patient load again but Mrs. Miller. I can’t remember if she was still seeing the little boys in bear suits or not, but I’ll tell you what I do remember about that day.

It was time for Mrs. Miller’s bed bath. She was a paraplegic and needed 2 of us to bathe her. My co-worker Janeen and I were half way through with the routine, chatting about something unimportant, when we hear Mrs. Miller exclaim “Gentlemen, DO YOU MIND! I’m getting a bath!”

I caught Janeen’s eye and we gave each other a strange look. Here we go again.

“Mrs. Miller, what is it?” I probed.

“ Don’t you see those men in the room watching me bathe?”

“Mrs. Miller,” I say in my sweetest, non-judgmental voice, “there are no men in here. It’s just you and me and Janeen and we will make sure the gentlemen stay out until you are clothed”

This calmed her down for a bit, but in mid scrub she yells again, “ GENTLEMEN, REALLY!!”

There was no winning. So right then and there I scolded those men and informed them to leave the room immediately.

Hey, there is a time and a place to talk to imaginary people, and I’m certain that was one of those times.

2005-11-08T20:44:00.000-08:00

Mrs Miller*

“Do I really have to go to work today?” I whined to Joseph. “I have to take care of Mrs. Miller again and she calls for me every 30 minutes”

In the dreary midst of my whining I had no idea of the entertainment that would be this day.

I was right. From 7:00am to 10:30am, religiously Mrs. Miller rang her call bell. “Send me that nurse!” Then, I got busy and looked up at around 11:15…no call from Mrs. Miller.

My first thought was “Oh, NO! She’s dead!” I rushed to her room to make sure I’m wrong. I opened the door and peeked in.

“Oh, do close the door!” she begs. I’m ok with this. I know she’s alive and I have tons to do.

Another hour passes. No call from Mrs. Miller. I’ve got to know what’s going on. I went back to her room and open the door and begin a shallow “how are you” conversation with her. She seemed panicked. “Please close the door! You’ll let them out!”

“Let who out, Mrs. Miller?"

“The little boys in bear suits, giving me a magic show from atop that cabinet”

Mrs. Miller was usually quite sane and spry. I tried the technique of reorienting her to her surroundings. “Mrs. Miller, I do not see these little boys in bear suits”

“ Oh you should,” she replied, “They are fabulous!”

I tried again, “Have you seen these boys before?”

“No, are they local people?”

There was no reality to be introduced to her. I then learn that they entered her room through the hole in the tree outside her room. I called the doctor to report this mental status change, as is protocol.

He responded “I did not order little boys in bear suits! Well, is she happy? Then let her keep them”

Thank goodness! I had so much to do. And Mrs. Miller’s “babysitters” kept her entertained for the rest of my 12-hour shift!

I can’t make this stuff up!

2005-11-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Jones* The Final Chapter

On a heartwarming note-- one day a co-worker “Miss Inella” (as named by Mrs. Jones) and I were assisting Mrs. Jones. I asked her to “tell me why you love God today.”

“Oh, I love the Lord because he blesses us!” Here is a woman who is medically fragile, that needs me to feed her and provide her every need, whose family is too far away to even visit her or escort her back to the nursing home and she is exuberant about how the Lord blesses us.

I looked over toward “Miss Inella” and she had tears in her eyes. She is not a Christian, and to hear this woman’s testimony of God’s blessing must have really spoken to her heart. I know it changed my entire worldview at that moment.

Whether she asks for a warm blanket, chitlins, or thanks the Lord in her circumstances, certainly she lends a fresh light on living a life that embodies Phillipians 4:6.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

When they finally allowed her to go home from the hospital, they wheeled her down the hall in a gurney. I said, “I love you Mrs. Jones, and God loves you.”

And I heard her voice clearly as she moved farther away. “He blesses us! Thank the Lord for you, Sista Crista”

Thank the Lord for Mrs. Jones.

stay tuned for the adventures of Mrs. Miller*.

2005-11-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Jones Part III
(we’re almost finished!)

“Mrs. Jones Do you know my name?”. Probably I asked this question for a little entertainment on my part. I knew she didn’t know. I knew that she could distinguish me from others, as everyone had a different moniker besides their own name. The only one she called by their real name was the cute male night nurse, Jesse. She started calling for him the minute she heard his voice at shift change. The ladies always know, I guess. “Why sure, your name is Miss Betty”, She answered.

“No, Mrs. Jones, my name is Crista”. Her reply has now become legend.

“Oh Thank the Lord for Sista Crista!”

And that is how one of my nicknames was born.

2005-10-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

Mrs Jones* Part II

“Mrs. Jones* open your mouth for some tomato soup”, I coax.

“I’m opening my mouth for ‘mata soup” she replies as the spoon is in her mouth, thus causing the drenching by tomato soup as described in the last blog.

Mrs. Jones had a practice of repeating everything you say. Another one of her charms.

“Let me help you out of bed,” I offer.

“Miss Betty is helping me out of bed”

One day I was feverishly working to complete my tasks for the day when I hear a terrified Mrs. Jones screaming “Miss Betty! Miss Betty! I can’t see! I can’t see!”

I rush to room 603, not sure of what I will encounter. Mrs. Jones lay there in bed frantic. I am no medical genius but I diagnosed her problem immediately.

“Mrs. Jones…. you need to open your eyes.”

As if this were a new idea, she hesitantly lifted her lids and instantly the world around her was no longer dark. Relief washed over the face of this precious woman. “OH! Miss Betty!” was her thankful reply.

We all forget things…our keys, our mother-in-law’s birthday, but I am still waiting for the day I forget to open my eyes.

It’s not entirely out of the question if you know me.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

2005-10-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Jones* Part I

“Miss Betty! Miss Betty!” I turned the corner on the 6th floor of Harris Methodist Hospital and a mixture of delight and weariness crossed my emotions. She’s calling for me again. Now I know what you are thinking. My name is not Betty. You know that and I know that, but Mrs Jones* in room 603 does not know that.

Mrs. Jones holds the award for “favorite patient ever” and “most draining patient ever” in my short 6 years in the nursing field. She needs everything, she doesn’t know much about what’s going around on her, but the one thing she does remember is “the Lord, oh how he blesses us Miss Betty.” I love her. Though some have heard these stories and may tire of them again, I will dedicate a few blogs to the 1 week I spend with Mrs. Jones and the adventures therein.

There was never a question about what Mrs. Jones needed at any given time because she would pray for it out loud. Very Loud.
“Dear Lord, I pray you bring me down a warm blanket” She’s cold, I deduce.

“Dear Lord, I pray you bring me some holy water!” She’s thirsty.

“Dear Lord, could you send me some chitlins?” Well, the closest I could come to that was tomato soup.

I fed her the tomato soup. It was your garden variety Campbells Tomato Soup. Nothing special.

“Oh Miss Betty, this is the best ‘mata soup I ever ate!” she says while spewing tomato soup all over my face. “Did you make it?” I informed her that Campbells made it. She said “Well could you tell him to put onion in it? I would like that”.

So Mr. Campbell, if you’re out there…..Mrs. Jones would like onion in that soup.

*The names of those involved have been changed to protect their identity.

2005-10-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

Peace as the World Gives

I was at conference in Washington DC this September for HIV Nutrition. The mixture of caregivers in the HIV community is interesting. You have the Christians (like myself) who are in the biz to love on those in a disparaging situation. (The four day work weeks don’t hurt either) There are also those that are not Christian, but truly great humans that have been affected by the disease in one way or the other, trying to give back and fight this awful disease. Now there are those that do not fit either category, but from my observation these are the primary subsets.

Getting back to the conference….the last session was titled “Grace under Pressure”. Sounds good to me! I was the first in the room, a “front rower” ready to hear what this session had to offer those of us in this emotionally draining field.

The first part sounded good, a couple of breathing exercises, mind clearing activities. It wasn’t until we started chanting and looking for our “inner light” that I got a little scared. Not really scared but felt really “icky”. I could not participate, I had to sit there and pray because I felt the awful feeling of deceit and despair filling the room. What’s crazy is it seemed I was the only one who noticed. People looked up from the exercise with peaceful feelings saying “oh that’s great” “I really found my inner light” “I could stay here forever!”

Forever? I was miserable. Then God whispered the words in the title of this blog to my shaken little heart. It made so much sense to me! I have not doubt that my colleagues felt peace at that moment, but I could see the shallow fleeting nature of it. I felt like Buck Williams in the Left Behind Series in the Board room with Nicolae right after he was saved (Come on! You know you read them!). He could see the deceit happening around him, while others could not.

Peace as the World Gives….. Compare it to the temporary “buzz” of yoga (as in the afore mentioned case), tobacco, alcohol, drugs, buying something new, eating a great meal….. Enjoyable activities that can give peace- if only for a second. What is tragic is that this is the only peace some will ever know.

Enter the “Peace that passes all understanding”. A lasting peace. Not fleeting, not weird…just really profound. I’ve found myself praying this over people.
That they would know this peace and that the peace that they are chasing would be exposed for the shallow fleeting band aid that it is.

I pray this for myself as well. That I will follow hard after this enduring breed of peace.

2005-10-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

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